How to Ask for a Honeymoon Fund: The Polite Guide for Modern Couples

The idea of handing Aunt Margaret a gift registry without a single toaster on it might spike your blood pressure. But face it—lots of couples already live together before getting married. Who needs another blender? Still, asking for money outright can feel dicey if you’re not used to it. Some guests might even whisper that it’s tacky. So how do you walk that tightrope and clue guests in on your dream honeymoon fund, without sounding like you’re just after a payday? It’s not as scary as it seems, and honestly, the numbers show people are getting pretty comfortable with it. According to The Knot’s 2024 Real Weddings Study, around 72% of couples registered for cash funds, so you’re definitely in good company.

Why Couples Prefer a Honeymoon Fund Over Traditional Gifts

Let’s cut straight to the heart of this: Most couples today have already combined their stuff. Traditional wedding gifts were great back in the day when couples were just starting out, but now, they need less stuff and more experiences. More folks are choosing to build memories instead of adding another pan to their cabinet. In fact, Zola, a big wedding registry platform, reported almost half of their couples requesting cash gifts for experiences in 2023. The honeymoon fund fits right into this shift.

Cash gifts can take some of the financial load off after pricey wedding planning. The average wedding cost in the U.S. hit around $35,000 in 2024, and that doesn’t even count the honeymoon. People need help catching their breath!

There’s also a whole psychological angle here. People want their gift to matter. When you ask for a honeymoon fund, you’re inviting the giver to become part of your adventure. It’s no longer about buying off a list, but about giving the gift of an experience—say, a candlelit dinner in Santorini or a zipline adventure in Costa Rica. And let’s be real: it feels much more personal. Guests might grumble at first about breaking tradition, but deep down, most folks love knowing their gift will become a great memory.

So why do some people still feel awkward? For many, it’s tied to old-school etiquette. Asking for money always felt a bit crass in previous generations, where household goods were the gold standard. But times change. If Queen Elizabeth can start offering digital cash gift options at royal weddings, surely your cousin Steve can handle contributing to a Mai Tai in Maui.

The Right (and Wrong) Ways to Ask for a Honeymoon Fund

The trick is knowing how to word your request so it feels tactful and grateful—never greedy. You don’t want your cousin reading a Venmo handle scribbled on your invite. Delivery matters. People prefer a soft approach, not a hard sell. But being too coy leaves everyone guessing and could mean an awkward moment when your grandma brings a crystal vase you’ll never use.

First rule: Don’t put cash requests directly on your wedding invitation. Old-school etiquette experts still get twitchy about this. Instead, steer the request to your wedding website or a small insert in the invitation envelope (not the invite itself). Many modern couples set up a section on their wedding website just for gift preferences—it’s a low-pressure, friendly way to communicate your wishes.

• Use kind, inclusive language. Emphasize gratitude for any gift, whether it’s cash, a physical item, or just their presence at your wedding.
• Tell your story. Sharing specific honeymoon plans ("We’re hoping to take a cooking class in Tuscany!") helps people see their role in it.
• Let guests know all gifts are optional and appreciated, so no one feels bullied into giving cash.
• Soft, shareable wording works. Try, "Your presence is the greatest gift, but if you’d like to help us on our next adventure, we’ve set up a honeymoon fund here."

Avoid tacky or direct money requests. Writing “Cash Only” or “No Gifts, Fund Our Honeymoon” comes off cold-hearted and transactional. Also, tossing in personal payment app handles (like Venmo or PayPal usernames) in bold font is a fast way to rub some guests the wrong way, unless your guest list is especially chill and tech-savvy.

For extra polish, lean on structured honeymoon fund platforms like Honeyfund, Zola, or The Knot. These let guests contribute to specific experiences, split up the cost, or send a message with their gift. It feels much more real than just dumping money in an envelope, and the platforms often let you thank guests right away. As a bonus, many sites take care of all the small print and privacy details, so there’s less room for error.

Creative Ways to Share Your Honeymoon Fund Request

No one likes a boring ask. If you want people to get excited about chipping in, make your request memorable or even a little fun. There are easy, creative twists to help guests feel like part of your journey rather than a walking ATM. Let’s talk about some ideas that really hit the mark:

• Storytelling pages: Use your wedding website to share your honeymoon dreams with a fun narrative. Post photos of your dream destination, snippets about why you chose it, or funny stories about travel mishaps from the past. When guests feel the excitement, they’ll want to help make it happen.
• Break it into experiences: Instead of a general fund, list out adventures you want to enjoy. $100 might mean a sunset cruise in Greece, $50 could cover a bottle of wine for your picnic in the French countryside, $20 gets you a local treat from a Parisian bakery. Sites like Honeyfund do an awesome job letting guests pick what they want to "fund."
• Encourage group gifts: Not everyone wants to (or can) spend big. Let friends chip in for bigger things together, like a romantic dinner or a cool airbnb stay. It’s less pressure, more teamwork.
• Printed cards done right: Many couples tuck a small card into their invitations with a gentle note, like, “Should you wish to honor us with a gift, we’re saving for our dream trip to Bali.” This physical reminder can be sweet if it feels personal and not mass-produced.
• Gifts of time or talent: Not every guest is comfortable with cash. Remind them that personal gifts, a handwritten note, or even a shared playlist for your road trip are all welcome — it takes the pressure off while keeping things heartfelt.
• QR codes: More couples are embedding these codes on wedding boards or website pages that link directly to their fund. It feels modern and can be combined with a thank you message or photo gallery.

The bottom line: The more personal and specific your approach, the less awkward the ask feels. Guests enjoy seeing how their gifts become a passport stamp, a special dinner, or a new adventure—something they’ll remember when you share photos later.

Sample Wording for a Polite Honeymoon Fund Request

Sometimes people just need the right words. Wedding traditions are evolving, but no one wants to step on toes. Here are sample phrases to use on your website, a printed insert, or even in a thank-you speech at your shower:

• “Your presence at our wedding is truly the greatest gift we could ask for. If you’d like to help us celebrate with a little adventure, we’ve set up a honeymoon fund.”
• “We’re so grateful for our loved ones and for your support on our big day. Since we already have everything we need for our home, any contribution to our dream trip is warmly appreciated—but please know it’s completely optional.”
• “If you wish to honor us with a gift, we’d love help making memories on our upcoming honeymoon to Japan. We will cherish any support, and can’t wait to share our travel stories!”
• “We’ve added a honeymoon fund to our registry for those who wish to gift us an experience instead of a physical gift. Thank you for making our adventure extra special.”

And if in doubt, keep it even simpler: “We are so grateful for your love and support. Should you wish to give a gift, we’d appreciate a contribution to our honeymoon fund.” Direct, honest, zero drama. Manners matter, but authenticity usually wins people over.

Now, if your families are more traditional, you might run into a little resistance. A small proportion of survey respondents (about 12%) still don’t love the idea of cash funds. If you sense that pushback coming, offer other options too—a small charity registry, a wish list for household upgrades, or just words of thanks. Most people care less than you’d think, but it’s smart to cover your bases.

Here’s a quick reference table showing how often people use cash registries and the ways they announce them:

After the Wedding: Showing Appreciation for Honeymoon Fund Gifts

Receiving the honeymoon fund is just half the story—how you thank people sets the tone for future celebrations. Whether Grandma sent a check or friends contributed through a registry platform, the thank-you process matters. Personal notes go a long way, especially with older guests who appreciate that traditional touch. Take the time to reference their specific gift: “Thank you for the dinner in Rome! We thought of you as we watched the sunset on the Piazza Navona.”

Some people choose to share photos or stories directly connected to gifted experiences. Social media is perfect for a modest post (“Thanks to our family and friends, this Bora Bora boat ride was a dream!”), or you can privately message photos to contributors. Some couples even create a “honeymoon scrapbook” page on their wedding website, tagging each adventure to the friend or loved one who made it happen. These gestures turn what could feel like a simple transaction into something meaningful and memorable.

Modern registry sites make thank-yous easier, too. After your trip, many platforms provide an option for you to send e-thank-yous right through the site. It’s quick, but if you want to go the extra mile, try mailing a personal card with details. Mentioning exactly how the guest’s contribution made your day special shows genuine gratitude. It pays forward the good vibes you got from the gift itself.

And don’t forget about the non-cash gifts! Whether a friend wrote you a heartfelt note or a family member gave you a hand-sewn quilt, every contribution counts. Let them know you value their thoughtfulness, not just the funds. Genuine appreciation always leaves a lasting mark.

If you’re not already a note-writing pro, here are a couple of lines to get you started:

• “Thank you so much for helping us make our honeymoon unforgettable. Your contribution to our snorkeling adventure meant the world to us—we thought of you every splash of the way!”
• “We’re so grateful for your support and can’t wait to share more memories with you when we return!”

Staying connected after your wedding helps everyone feel included in your new journey. Don’t just take the money and forget the moment—build a bridge from their gift to your memories.